I am so thrilled to post this. I have to say, being a part of LitSisters has changed my life in the most amazing way. And we are starting 2010 off with a bang! Not only did our boutique publishing house, LitSisters Publishing, launch today, but we also were featured on the home page of [...]
Ah, it’s been a long time. Too long. It’s because of the kryptonite – well, let me explain.
I’ve always been proud of the fact that I’m one tough broad. Far too tough, in fact, to be laid out by anything. No matter what happened to me, even after the death of my parents, I was able to pick myself up, dust myself off and do what I needed to do. No exceptions. Until I had kids, that is.
At first my kids were time consumers. They needed a lot of my time and I had very little left for writing. I dressed them, fed them, played with them. You know the drill. It was a bit frustrating to have so little time for writing but I knew that what I was doing was far more important. As they got older they gave up their time consuming ways. They became energy consumers. Their problems, miseries and joys colored my days. My focus rose and fell on what was going on in their lives. They took less time away from my writing but I found I wrote even less than I did when they were small.
And then came the kryptonite. My teenagers have more complex lives and, consequently, more complex needs. They consume time and energy. But it’s more than that. I find my heart soars and plummets based on whatever is going in their lives. Whether it’s my driven, goal-oriented teen or my troubled, marches to her own drummer teen I find the same truth holds. The emotional kryptonite lays me out like nothing ever has before and my work has suffered.
Now, is the point of this post to have my own public pity party? Fun idea – but, no. I actually have a point. Yell “help” as loud as you can. That’s what I did. I have the greatest husband in the world and, when he realized how I was floundering he lightened my load. Also, my LitSisters are fantastic women. Several have children in different stages than mine. They also have ideas. And sisterhood. And commiseration. So I’m back to blogging. I’m also starting a new novel while still marketing Poles Apart.
So ask for help. Don’t wait as long as I did, keeping your upset to yourself.
Kryptonite neutralized.
I joined the work force full-time in the late ‘70’s when the accepted career model looked like a ladder. The cartoon version showed a man climbing up even if it meant climbing over others. The route was narrow and only allowed one person on each step at a time. Up was the only direction desired. Walking on others was allowed and even encouraged by some. The ladder stayed grounded. The person moved one measured rung at a time. You could stay in place and hang on. If you fell off, you were toast or like in the game Shoots and Ladders, you had to start all over, again.
I never liked this model. I’ve had a lot of jobs and enjoyed a solid level of career success in terms of titles, responsibilities and compensation. But, I’ve also chosen to think of my career in terms of a carousel not a ladder. I’ve ridden a number of mounts, on an ever moving platform and when I’ve gotten bored, I’ve surveyed to my left, my right, in front and behind to find the new ride that was of interest or presented a colorful opportunity.
Please don’t get me wrong. I am not some Polly Anna skipping down the primrose path looking at the world through rose colored glasses. I’ve tackled tough jobs and worked hard. I’m just saying that life isn’t linear. And, life is more fun when there is music playing. And, no matter how hard you may try to keep things steady and upright and moving forward, life is filled with all kinds of motion and commotion, ups and downs.
So, it’s okay to get up and move around. Explore uncommon opportunities. Stop and say hi to others. Grab a handhold if you need to. But, you can get off, carefully, for awhile, to take a break, take on other important roles outside of your career, concentrate on home or babies or caring for aging relatives. Then, when you’re ready, step back on, find the mount that’s available that suits your needs without pushing anyone off to take their place or stepping on or over anyone to get there. Seek out options knowing there’s more than what’s directly above you. And never forget, it’s just a ride.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve read lots of books about how to build a business and how to find happiness doing what you love. Why? I was trying to find a way to make money, doing what I loved — writing. Last January, at the height of our economic downturn, I finally found success as a full-time writer. Three books have stuck out in my mind as life-changing. I recommend you read them; they may change your life, too!
Have you read these books? If so, let me know what you think? If not, check them out!
Most writers have good days and bad days; days when the words seem to flow almost effortlessly off the fingertips and days when a simple sentence seems too hard to string together.
Ever wonder what is getting in the way of a highly productive writing session or a great writing day? Do you feel like you are too easily distracted? Too open to interruptions? Do your writing goals seem reasonable but never achievable?
Like most writers, I’ve spent time pondering these questions. My first career was textbook Corporate America. I had a series of exciting jobs that demanded all my time, energy and immediate attention. For years, I lived by deadlines and commitments set by others, leashed to my Blackberry which never stopped dinging as it downloaded important information I needed to read and respond to NOW.
In my second career as a writer, my time is much more discretionary. I love that. But, it can be as challenging as my old life. With fewer outside demands and no real bosses, I can be easy on myself and allow time to slip away. Here are three things I have learned to manage to ensure my writing time is dedicated, disciplined and MOR productive.
M is for Music. I love having background music on when I write. But, I need to be selective in my choices. If I am tempted to sing along, I am not deep into my writing. While many rave about the magical inspiration of Mozart, I just pick music that I like but doesn’t distract.
O is for Outlook. Once upon a time, I was required to be an Outlook, email junkie. It was the method of communication and it ruled my work world. Instead of opening Outlook, or whatever your preferred eConnection is, I manage my on-line time and only indulge after I’ve achieved my daily word count.
R is for Reading. Like many writers, I am an avid reader. But, I restrict my pleasure reading (and my researching) time to non-writing hours. Daytime is for writing. Late night and designated days off are for reading.
If I stick to the MOR rules, I can get more out of my writing time.
Time Management 1.3: Getting Rid of the Other Stuff
The first week we talked about what makes you happy. Last week we talked about discovering what’s most important to you. This week, we’re getting rid of the other stuff.
Many of us are juggling a number of roles – spouse, partner, parent, friend, co-worker, employee, business owner, hobbyist and volunteer. Managing the various aspects of our lives successfully requires a high level of organization (did I mention we probably want clean living space and time to relax and pursue personal projects). It also, to some extent, requires a level of acceptance that each thing might not be done perfectly – but, that’s another post.
The most important thing: We agreed to take on each project or role because we wanted to. We made an active choice to accept the task and all of its responsibilities and we’re committed to the success of each endeavor. Plus, our involvement makes us happy and fulfilled, right. Right?
Everything you agreed to do, you’re doing because you want to, right? Because you chose to, not because you were guilted, manipulated, coerced or think you have to, right?
Everything?
Are you sure?
For a very long time, so many of the things on my list carried with it all of the heaviness that the word OBLIGATION implies. I did it because I HAD to, not because I wanted to. I felt bad saying, “No.” And so, I never did. I took on the troubles and tasks of others, and put mine aside, wondering the entire time why I was always stressed, worried and empty. But, about three years ago, I began to realize that the life I was living and the one I wanted to live were thousands of miles apart. I wasn’t sure how to get to where I wanted to go; I only knew I wasn’t there.
After I made the happy list, I started looking at what made me unhappy. There were lots of things, like cooking, cleaning, sitting in a cubicle, working for someone else; to name a few.
Start thinking about those things in your life that you don’t like or want there – they may no longer make you happy or fulfilled (maybe they never did), they may be busy work that you can pass off or pay someone else to do. Consider your to-do list and ask yourself if there is anything on it that now your children (or spouse) can now handle? For instance, my husband and oldest son now do the laundry. Both children feed the animals and my youngest son now dusts. Are there obligations that no longer work? Are you volunteering in the areas that please you most? I was stacking books for the school library for two hours a week; I stopped doing it and instead volunteered my time as the president of the pre-school advisory board. I spend less time each week and it’s more in alignment with my goals.
Think about all you delete, delegate, delay or diminish. Now we’re getting into the meat of time management, but it takes some serious introspection. And some willingness to ditch what’s not working so that you can embrace the good stuff.
If there are things on your list that you’re unhappy about, but know that you won’t or can’t get rid of them, we’ll focus on them next week when we discuss Creating Your Plan.
If you have any questions, feel free to email me at christine@litsisters.com. Check back regularly for more LitSisters™ writing tips and resources.
Next Week: Time Management 1.4: Creating Your Plan
Going Spine-less
With the popularity of eBooks growing by leaps and bounds, might we actually be moving backwards in terms of cover art? Once upon a time, books were bound in thick but plain colored leather or even fabric. Titles and author names were displayed in dark print or sometimes gold leaf on both cover and spine. Only the rich purchased books and these were displayed on book shelves were quantity was often viewed as more impressive than quality. Law books and other scholarly works continue this tradition of plainness, as if to emphasize the complexity of what is contained within. Maybe to challenge or perhaps to confirm that you can judge a book by its cover.
Over time, dust covers became trendy. They became a way to distinguish one novel from the next, not just to protect the book underneath, but to catch the eye of the potential buyer and to add space on the flyleaf for a well written hook, the author’s credits and bio and maybe a photo. Cover art became a new standard in publishing and became integrated into the marketing efforts of all types of publications propelled by the popularity of paperbacks. Consider the distinctive black and yellow graphics of the For Dummies series or the Fabio type models featured on the covers of certain romance novels.
Standard book sizing to fit on standard book shelves at libraries and brick and mortar book stores added to the importance of cover art. If all books were to be lined up with only the spine showing, what colors and fonts and features would scream out to a passerby, “Pick Me!” And, what Pick Me attributes will now translate into thumbnail sized images on web sites where so many books are now being selected for purchase or electronic download. Even when you have the option to click here to make the image larger, how much of an influence will cover art have on book selection in the digital age?
I believe it will still have a marketing value. That creative art adds a positive impression before we even crack open a novel and read the first sentence. But, I also believe that cover art will modify as conditions change and purchasing habits alter. And, in terms of book reading and status, I am just waiting for the Coach or maybe Prada custom covers to buy for my Kindle…
It is our distinct pleasure to announce the release of LitSister Audrey RL Wyatt’s novel, Poles Apart! We will be celebrating the launch at FEZ on Central, Wednesday, January 27th at 6:30 pm. Everyone is welcome!
For purchase information and a pre-launch discount, visit Audrey’s website, www.audreyrlwyatt.com
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This is the second of four installments in the Time Management 1.0 Series: Prioritizing what’s Important in Your Life
Time Management 1.2: Determining the Important Stuff
Okay, so last week you created a list of things that make you happy.
Chances are you’ve looked at your list and you realized that not enough of them happen regularly in your life. Some of them you may not have done in years! Don’t worry; we’ll focus on that soon enough. I’m still not asking you to do anything on the list.
For right now, you’re looking for patterns and themes in your list. For instance, I found that there were several key themes that kept popping up on my list. Among them were spending time with friends and family; learning and doing new things; reading, writing and books; and being outside.
From your “Happy List” you can begin to see the things that matter to you. Eventually, we’ll look at bringing items from your list into your life, but for right now, it’s important to know that these things bring you joy and happiness, and add fulfillment to your life.
As you review your list and look for patterns, consider these questions:
The last question is the hardest one to answer. While the answer will almost always be “Me”, it can take time to sift through all of the excuses. At one time, our reasons may have seemed noble; we have children relying on us, spouses depending on us. We can’t just up and leave to go for a walk, or close our doors to spend hours writing. We have jobs, commitments, obligations, and slowly our lives become less about us and more about what we think is expected of us. And thinking like that can become a very bad habit, and not a very productive or happy one.
Let me tell you a quick story about the bad habits our brains can pick up:
I once sat at home alone in front of my computer thinking that it would be wonderful to go for a run. I imagined running along the road, my headphones on, listening to music as my feet pounded against the pavement. It felt good just thinking about it. I was so excited, I got up from the computer to go and put my running clothes on. However, before I even left my office, my next thought was, “I can’t do that!”
Since I had been working on doing things that made me happy, I asked myself the question, “Why not?”
I answered, “I can’t leave the kids.”
“Hunh?!” my saner self asked bewildered. “The kids aren’t home.”
“But, they’ll be home soon.”
“So? Their father will be with them.”
“Oh! Oh, right! They don’t need me! I can go for a run!”
I was shocked by my own internal dialogue; shocked because I know that on similar occasions I had given up when I heard my internal tape recorder say, “I can’t do that.” I didn’t even ask why not.
So, for this week, I just ask you to look at your list and consider the possibilities. Next week, we’ll talk about making room for it.
Next Week: Time Management 1.3: Getting Rid of the Other Stuff
I was reading an article the other day on the most common questions writers get asked when they are interviewed. (Getting prepped, though a bit premature, for all of the coverage my next book is going to get when I finally finish it and get requests for interviews!) One of the most popular questions is How Do You Write or more specifically How Do You Organize Yourself when you are creating a novel.
I love this question because the more I read the wide variety of answers, the more I am convinced there is no one right way to write. Two different highly, successful authors discussed their writing styles in a recent issue of Romance Writers Report. One author was being interviewed, the other simply sharing his experience, philosophy and wisdom. Their answers were wildly different and one of them even said she doesn’t always write all of her books the same way. Though she prefers writing chapter by chapter sequentially, when the muse is cooperative, sometimes writing the beginning and then the end and then the middle works for her. The guy liked to outline all of his scenes on a spreadsheet on Excel before beginning his novels. He admitted that the woman he co-authors with does not use Excel.
Charlie Rose did a wonderful interview with John Grisham last year. John is big into outlining. Said it saved him a lot of heart ache because he writes thrillers and there is always the challenge of painting yourself into a corner if you don’t have all the plot twists and turns worked out. A USA Today interview with James Patterson also revealed that he is an outliner. But, this is partly because he farms out chapters to his co-authors and needs to keep the process on track.
Me, I’m what they call a pantser, as in seat of my pants. I do start with a basic outline and spend time on plotting. I also create a separate working document where I capture important information that I know I am going to use or refer to later and some of the research that has led me to the plot and the characters that I may or may not include in the final product. But, then I tend to write and let my characters take over and write some more. And, that, is what I’ve also discovered. While there are a million ways to write, there is only one way not to write. Don’t sit down every day and type – something. That said, I must get back to my characters currently stuck on a raft in the middle of an ocean. I’m dying to know how I get them rescued…
The following four principles from the book THE FOUR AGREEMENTS by don Miguel Ruiz are great for personal use and for building heroes. Of course, you can create a fatal flaw in your protaganist, a truly despicable villian, or even a comedic character by messing with one or more of them.
1. ” Be Impeccable With Your Word” Opposite: Lie. Gossip. Manipulate.
2. ”Don’t Take Anything Personally” Opposite: Take offense at everything. Start fights.
3. ”Don’t Make Assumptions” Opposite: Don’t communicate your wishes clearly. Be passive-agressive.
4. “Always Do Your Best” Opposite: Be a slacker. Make excuses. Half-ass it.
Creating rules of conduct for each of your fictional characters is essential. That way you’ll know how Ralph will react to Patsy the prostitute, to getting fired from his job, to receiving a major inheritance. How a character thinks and behaves is integral to plot development and to character arc.
Anyone have a good synonym for character?
Define your characters’ principles or lack there of early in the process. Your story will flow much more smoothly if you do.
And don’t forget to have fun, that’s why we do this in the first place.
