I am so thrilled to post this. I have to say, being a part of LitSisters has changed my life in the most amazing way. And we are starting 2010 off with a bang! Not only did our boutique publishing house, LitSisters Publishing, launch today, but we also were featured on the home page of [...]
Time Management 1.3: Getting Rid of the Other Stuff
The first week we talked about what makes you happy. Last week we talked about discovering what’s most important to you. This week, we’re getting rid of the other stuff.
Many of us are juggling a number of roles – spouse, partner, parent, friend, co-worker, employee, business owner, hobbyist and volunteer. Managing the various aspects of our lives successfully requires a high level of organization (did I mention we probably want clean living space and time to relax and pursue personal projects). It also, to some extent, requires a level of acceptance that each thing might not be done perfectly – but, that’s another post.
The most important thing: We agreed to take on each project or role because we wanted to. We made an active choice to accept the task and all of its responsibilities and we’re committed to the success of each endeavor. Plus, our involvement makes us happy and fulfilled, right. Right?
Everything you agreed to do, you’re doing because you want to, right? Because you chose to, not because you were guilted, manipulated, coerced or think you have to, right?
Everything?
Are you sure?
For a very long time, so many of the things on my list carried with it all of the heaviness that the word OBLIGATION implies. I did it because I HAD to, not because I wanted to. I felt bad saying, “No.” And so, I never did. I took on the troubles and tasks of others, and put mine aside, wondering the entire time why I was always stressed, worried and empty. But, about three years ago, I began to realize that the life I was living and the one I wanted to live were thousands of miles apart. I wasn’t sure how to get to where I wanted to go; I only knew I wasn’t there.
After I made the happy list, I started looking at what made me unhappy. There were lots of things, like cooking, cleaning, sitting in a cubicle, working for someone else; to name a few.
Start thinking about those things in your life that you don’t like or want there – they may no longer make you happy or fulfilled (maybe they never did), they may be busy work that you can pass off or pay someone else to do. Consider your to-do list and ask yourself if there is anything on it that now your children (or spouse) can now handle? For instance, my husband and oldest son now do the laundry. Both children feed the animals and my youngest son now dusts. Are there obligations that no longer work? Are you volunteering in the areas that please you most? I was stacking books for the school library for two hours a week; I stopped doing it and instead volunteered my time as the president of the pre-school advisory board. I spend less time each week and it’s more in alignment with my goals.
Think about all you delete, delegate, delay or diminish. Now we’re getting into the meat of time management, but it takes some serious introspection. And some willingness to ditch what’s not working so that you can embrace the good stuff.
If there are things on your list that you’re unhappy about, but know that you won’t or can’t get rid of them, we’ll focus on them next week when we discuss Creating Your Plan.
If you have any questions, feel free to email me at christine@litsisters.com. Check back regularly for more LitSisters™ writing tips and resources.
Next Week: Time Management 1.4: Creating Your Plan
This is the first of four installments in the Time Management 1.0 Series: Prioritizing what’s Important in Your Life
Time Management 1.1: What Makes You Happy?
Dear Writer: If you want to get organized and manage your time effectively, the first step is knowing what’s most important to you. Chances are you may feel so overwhelmed with everything in your life that you don’t even know where to begin. I know. I’ve been there. The next four blogs are designed to help you discover what’s essential to your happiness and success, and how to make it first and foremost in your life (like writing!) Before the rest of the unimportant, and often very insistent, things overrun your day.
The first step is to make a list. Stop! Don’t run away! Yes, I know. If you’re struggling with managing your time and organizing your life, then there’s a good possibility you hate lists. But, trust me. This is a good list.
Drum roll please. Write down a list of things that make you happy. Really happy; joyfully, blissfully happy.
There’s no right or wrong answer. Put your censor/editor in a padlocked box for this exercise. The only criteria is it makes you happy – don’t worry if it makes anyone else happy (or sad). Use a pen, pencil, crayon, typewriter or computer. Write it on a napkin, in your journal or on your eight-year-old’s report card. I don’t care, just get it down on something you can find again later.
Take note, you may not know what makes you happy. Not right away.
I didn’t. I really had to think about it…for awhile. I was stunned: How could I not know what made me happy? I thought for days about my list and slowly I began thinking of things and writing them down. Once I started, I made a very long list. I still have it saved to my computer. It has things on it like, listening to the sound of thunder, working on a story, and playing with my kids. It may sound goofy to make such a list. However, if you want to manage your time, it helps to know what you’d like to be doing with it.
You don’t need to do any of the things on your list (unless you want too!), just write them down. It might take a while, but they’ll come to you. Add to your list throughout the week, and next Monday, I’ll share the next step.
If you have any questions, feel free to email me at christine@litsisters.com. Check back regularly for more LitSisters™ writing tips and resources.
Next Week: Time Management 1.2: Determining the Important Stuff
